Monday, January 07, 2008

The Psychology of Hair

Unless you’ve actually worked as a cosmetologist, you would never realize that this occupation is 5% styling hair and 95% psychiatry.

It amazes me that cosmetology schools don’t include a basic psychology course as part of their training program.

They don’t even mention the fact that when you get out of school and start working in this profession, you’ll be touching the heads of people who are severely delusional.

I used to have a "magic wand" at my hair styling station for when a client would ask me to cut their hair, which would usually resembled a Chia Pet to look like either a movie star or a super model. I would literally take the wand, tap them on the head and say, “Not unless this wand will produce a miracle.”

My favorite clients where the ones who brought me in about 10 magazine clippings from VOGUE, ALLURE or HARPER'S BAZAAR on how they wanted their hair to look when I got finished with it. The clippings were always professional models who had been air-brushed and digitally mastered. Now, the reality of this was that the client wanted to BE these models. I finally got to the point were I bluntly started telling my clients, “If you decide to bring me in any magazine clippings, please be sure to use white-out on the faces before you show them to me, because I can only cut your hair…not perform cosmetic augmentation.”

Not only is this occupation riddled with unrealistic physical manifestations, but it’s also about having to listen to a clients personal problems. On the average, a stylist will usually see 8-10 people a day. So that’s 8-10 hair services, coupled with 8-10 psychology sessions.

I knew I was getting close to my “swan song” in this business, when one day a client said to me, “I know it’s only been 2 weeks since my last haircut, but I had to get in to see you because I’ve been an emotional mess and needed to talk to you, Ron.”

(oh, you mean…Dr. Ron?)

Finally, that day came when I had a new client who could not make up her mind about how she wanted her hair to look. I cut and blew it dry TWICE. She was a foreigner, so we had a bit of a language barrier, but I had been cutting hair long enough to know when someone shows me with their fingers, just how much length they want cut off. She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted, so I guess she figured, “Oh, well…let me just see what it looks like at various lengths.

After cutting it for the second time the demon within me SNAPPED!

(I totally lost it)

Without even thinking, I ripped the cutting cape off from around her neck and then grabbed her purse off the counter; handing it to her, saying, “You don’t owe me any money for this appointment, but kindly remove yourself from the salon.”

(she blinked…then blinked again)

All the other stylists in the salon suddenly stopped cutting hair.

(you could hear a pin drop)

She looked at me and said, “Excuse me?”

I reiterated.

She said, “I want hair cut, sir!”

I said, “No, your haircut is finito…bye!”

She looked at me with a stern face and said, “You VERY mean man!”

I looked at her with a smile and said, “Yes, I agree, but you VERY confused woman”

After she left I picked up the phone and called the owners of the salon, giving my two weeks notice.

I let my license expire and never looked back.

However, I HAVE learned something very valuable from this experience.

I would rather eat thumbtacks and glass…than style another head of hair!!!