Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Rent-a-Baby

Like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens….babies are one of my favorite things!

Wouldn’t be great if there was such a thing as a baby rental service for people like me, who loves babies, but are totally self-involved with their own lives, and much too idealistic about what it would be like to actually raise a child, but who would enjoy hanging out with a baby occasionally?

I mean, think about it…

Say my “paternal instincts” kick in one day, and I suddenly get the urge to have a baby for the weekend….

I could go to the baby-rental store (called, “Babe’s to Go”) and place an order.

All the babies would be on hangers, and suspended on one of those rotating racks.

(similar to a dry cleaner)

The sales associate would press a button, and all the baby samples would slowly spin around so I could view the collection.

I would have my choice of age, gender, and nationality.

There would be a flat fee for this service, which would include things, such as: the baby’s clothing, and diapers. The renter would need to supply things, such as: the high-chair, playpen, bed, and food.

And there could even be a “late charge” added in case I kept the baby an extra day, or forgot to return it.

And then, after I brought the baby back, it would be washed, re-dressed, and then re-hung on a hanger; available for another rental.

(kind of like a tuxedo)

I think it’s a FABULOUS idea…don’t you?

aaah, yea…I told you I was much too idealistic.

(and also a tad insane)